Here I am, sitting on our bed at home. Yes, I still call it our bed. How are you, Fred? I’m doing well now, I guess. I took your advice. I’ve never felt happier this year.
We planned our future the night before you left me. We were going to share a mansion and our kids would be best friends, remember? We were supposed to chase each other using wheelchairs when we became old and grew white hair. I’m sure you would still admit that you were better looking.
They tell me I barely ate for weeks. The hunger is nothing compared to the pain of losing you. When I look in the mirror, sometimes I wonder if it’s you I’m looking at. But it can’t be. The pale-faced, thin, person with eyebags in the mirror never even smiled. Even on our gloomy days, you’d always stay positive and cheer me up with your smile, Fred.
I feel so lonely walking on the streets with nobody by my side. If you were here, I bet we’d be waving like idiots to the strangers driving their cars, laughing at the expressions on their faces. But it can’t be like that, can it? I lost my twin. My friend, brother, partner, companion.
Do you remember our first day at Hogwarts? I was so scared that I wouldn’t make it into Gryffindor with you. See, I was scared even at that thought. Gryffindors aren’t supposed to be scared. It was a miracle I made it.
I never wanted to visit Hogwarts again after I lost you. I was afraid it would hurt too much. But our family is having financial problems so I got a part-time job at Hogwarts, helping Hagrid with magical creatures. I started that job yesterday. It was just strange and awkward walking through the corridors, visiting the classes and dormitories without you.
Lots of memories came flashing back. The time when we were supposed to turn books into owls, but your book turned into a pig instead. The time when we annoyed Snape so much until he made us lose 50 points, and everybody was mad at us. The time when we were punished to clean the corridors and had fun splashing water at each other. How I miss those times.
I don’t know how but I suddenly fainted yesterday at Hogwarts. They gave me a spare room to stay for the night. When I woke up, I saw you, smiling at me. “I was wondering when you’d come, George.” you said. I was shocked, but at the same time, happy. “Fred? Is it really you?” I asked. You winked and said “Yes, it’s me, Georgie.”
“Fred! Life is horrible without you. No, life is meaningless without you!”
“Listen. You’re not without me! I’ve been there all along, by your side. You just don’t see it. I’m there when you’re having dinner, driving your car, reading your books. You just need to believe I’m there. Believe I’m smiling there beside you. Because I never left you alone.”
“It’s not the same. It can never be the same.”
“Of course it can. I’m trusting you to believe, George. I will be wherever you are.”
You hugged me tightly. I could breathe your scent. It was wonderful. Tears soon wet my cheeks. “I miss you, Fred.” I said, finally. But then, I woke up. You were gone. No, wait, you weren’t gone. You were there, beside me, never leaving my side. After all, you’re trusting me to believe, so I am. I’m believing.
I’m going to Diagon Alley after this. When I go to buy a drink, you’ll be drinking on the seat beside me. When I shop for clothes, you’ll be joking about how bad my taste of colour is. When I open the door to Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes for the first time in a year, you’ll be there too, cracking jokes.
We will share a mansion and our kids will be best friends. We will chase each other using wheelchairs when we become old and grow white hair. You will still admit that you were better looking,
Now, when I look in the mirror, I see a happy, fit, smiling man staring back at me. When I look into his eyes, I see you, Fred. Because you never left.